It all began when I'd only been home for a couple of days, and was already struggling with adjusting to be being back!
Hearing stories from past Mission Teamers about life after MT has given me glimpses as to just how hard it might be. And I was already experiencing that...
Because I am no longer in Christchurch and I've been away for two years, I don't really have anyone here who understands and who I can off load to.
So I have decided to make a blog! With three main reasons:
- Writing things down helps me process them better and get them off my mind
- It could help other MTers going back into everyday life who might experience similar struggles
- I can look back at it in the future and see how far I've come!
This blog is called 'The Everyday Missionary,' because as I am slowly discovering, it doesn't stop when your title is no longer 'missionary.' 😀 It has only begun!!
To begin, here's a prayer I wrote on the 28th of November 2018 (4 days after arriving home) that inspired the title of this blog. You can tell I was struggling from the desperateness and vulnerability of the prayer! You might not relate, but this is where I was at after returning home.
DEAR JESUS,
Where am I at?
I am lost.
I am wondering around with hardly any direction, no goal, no daily schedule, no idea of where I'm going or how I should get there.
I'm lost because I have no purpose.
On MT, my purpose was to be on MT!
To stick to schedule, I had nearly every day planned out.
But now I haven't got that....
Yes, times are different to before, I am not doing MT stuff or full time ministry.
But I don't need a schedule or a title to have a purpose!
I am a Child of God! I am not lost!
And my purpose is to spread your love; to spread the Gospel.
Even though I'm not a 'Missionary,' I can still be a missionary!
My purpose is to spread God's love!
It doesn't have to be huge, it doesn't even have to be through youth events.
Just the little everyday things that pop up!
Being patient with my parents or siblings, doing the dishes,cooking a meal, offering to help out, reaching out to those in need.
So Lord,
Where am I at?
I'm struggling because my days aren't full but I feel like they should be.
I have lots I could do yet no motivation.
I have you (or rather you've got me!) and I love you.
But it's harder to serve you when I don't have a set mission or task that means I have to serve you.
It's hard to just be an everyday missionary!
And it's hard to feel like I can't specifically hear you guiding me.
But help me to be attentive and obedient to you in the little things.
So when bigger things do come, I am ready.
💗💓 Your helpless servant + everyday missionary. 💓💗
